All diabetics are not created equal. That means that some people inject insulin, others pump, and a lot of of type 2 diabetics, use oral medications to help control there blood glucose levels.
Here are 2 videos that document the different tools that are available for diabetes management. Please pass these videos along to others. The purpose of them is not so you can hear how groggy and how tired I sound in the morning. It is actually educate others about diabetes! Enjoy!
For the last 6 weeks, we have been using a Dexcom continuous glucose monitoring device. It has been a great addition to our "diabetes management toolbox". Our family loves our devices and are grateful for them. We are blessed to have them. Unfortunately, not a Diabetics have access to them. More research and more development will continue to expand accessibility and accuracy in glucose monitoring.
For more info go to dexcom.com
And dont forget to support our Step Out and Walk team...M@gic#Hun+ers
Today is the day. Today is the day I celebrate a second birthday for my daughter. On a day like today, in 2012, she was reborn as a diabetic toddler. It was a surprise! But it did not catch us unprepared and off guard.
It has been 368 since we heard the diagnosis. And exactly a year since we left the hospital. It was intense! It was difficult! It was scary! It was life changing! It was a challenge! It was nerve-wrecking! It was all the things that only a parent that has gone through this experience can understand. It was the inevitable induction into a small group, a small club of parents that learn to live with this challenge on a daily basis.
A yearul later I am so happy and so grateful to realize everything is ok. My daughter has accepted her new lifestyle and has done wonderfully. She deserves all the credit for adjusting to such a radical change in lifestyle at such an early age. Even before she is able to read a book on her own, she speaks diabetes. I am proud of her efforts and of her self discipline. I am proud of the temperament and character she has shown in dealing with this.
So... Thanks to research! Thanks to carb counting! Thanks to FDA workers watching out for quality assurance! Thanks for nutritional guides all over! Thanks to diabetic educators! Thanks to the modernization of Medicine! Thanks for super thin needles! Thanks for 5-seconds glucometers! Thanks for measuring cups, and kitchen appliances, measuring spoons, and nutritional labels! Thanks for a college education that includes a good science foundation! Thanks for a diabetic husband who has allowed me to delve deep into the diabetes world! Thanks for a father that is a nurse! Thanks for a mother who has dedicated her life to helping people that live with challenges and taught me my daughter's rights even before I could have a child! Thanks for a wonderful staff at our medical provider! Thanks for strangers who become instant family because they know, they understand the shoes you wear everyday! And finally, thank God! Because it is only with the help of the Almighty, and the guidance of the Angels He sends that makes it possible for diabetes to be in our lives, without breaking us.
Diabetes might: rule our life; Run our schedules. Change our plans; Distance relationships; Distortion the appearance of how things are; Interfere with desires...but it's here to stay, and so will I. There is no return policy. No cancellation option. Therefore, since diabetes won't budge...neither will I!
MY NAME IS MELISA M. VALENTIN. I AM THE WIFE AND MOTHER OF 2 PEOPLE LIVING WITH DIABETES. I LOVE THEM. THEY ARE MY LIFE. AND I WILL NOT STAND DOWN, DOWN PLAY OR YIELD MY POSITIONS. I AM IN THIS GAME TO WIN. I AM HERE TO KICK DIABETES IN THE BUTT!!!! THAT IS MY MISSION STATEMENT, UNTIL I HAVE FINISHED THE WORK GOD HAS FOR ME ON THIS, HIS EARTH.
I am tired but determined. This is my place, my responsibility, my duty, my privilege. Moving forward is the path I choose.
This morning seemed like it was going to be another regular morning. Most people my call my life extremely simple and uncomplicated. And of course, if you were to ask me it is just a cumulus of convoluted, entangled, and completely inseparable issues and considerations that are unstoppable. But, despite the dichotomy and differences, its all good. I know how it really is. So, another regular morning, right? Nope! Not a chance.
Commonly, as it is normal for people who hardly ever sleep, early in the morning, as I get ready to take care of the day's errands and my planned fun times with my daughter, I have to have a diet coke. I'm not going to lie. When I don't have my diet coke it is hard to stay on the top of my game. So call me dependent or simply a busted, tired mom, either way... I have to have a Diet Coke in the morning. So, here I am driving to my local Burger King to get my morning Diet Coke, and my daughter decides she wants to have breakfast at Burger King... But she wants to go inside! This immediately sounded like a tricky morning already. I was tired as usual and thinking about the logistics of having a three and a half year old diabetic toddler have breakfast at a local fast food. I knew this was just not going to work. But, because she hardly ever makes these requests, I thought it would be a good opportunity to give her the chance to learn how to do breakfast outside the home in an orderly fashion. We walked in, ordered, and sat down to wait for order. I noticed the lady sitting across from us eyeing my daughter. She kept smiling. I could tell she was enjoying just watching my daughter and her faces.
As soon as our food was ready, I pulled out our glucometer and proceeded to check my daughter's levels. I could see kind of in slow motion, how this lady's eyes open wide and how she almost choked on her breakfast! Immediately she struggled to quickly swallow and look over and ask: " is she diabetic?" I answered yes. Immediately she smiled and said: "My daughter is too." Instantly, as it has occurred before, there was an instant bond. I did not dwell too much on what the lady look like or her accent or anything particular about that. We were just two mothers of diabetics who happened to bump into each other. She asked me how old my daughter is and told me about how her daughter was diagnosed at the age of 8. She told me the story of how she was in California and got a call that her daughter was in the hospital. As she shared her story, I realized how so many other families go through truly traumatic experiences to then hear a quite daunting an overwhelming fact.
We sat there, and spoke for about half hour as if we have known each other for years. We talked about legal issues, agreements and disagreements with schools, different options for homeschooling, different issues related to mood swings and puberty and hypoglycemia and not being able to know what's going on and children whose parents make them think they should be ashamed they are diabetic... We basically talked about everything and anything related to diabetes. It was just so fun! She told me about how her daughter is now 16 years old and very active. Her daughter is proud to be different and normal at the same time. She shared some of the experiences her daughter has had a teenager, encountering classmates who were also diabetic but are too ashamed to tell the school. She told me about her daughter finding teenagers passed out in the bathrooms and in the hallways... Simply put, she told me about the tragedies that come after refusing to accept that it's okay to be diabetic.
We commented on this for some time. We talked about the influence teachers have on the kids at this difficult age. We talked about the influence parents have and how making their kids feel they should hide their diabetes, maybe because they themselves are ashamed, its just a huge disservice to the kids. She commended me for testing in public and for teaching my child, starting at a young age, that she should never be ashamed of her diabetes. She talked about how her daughter has thrived and has lived fully after her diagnosis. She talked about her daughter's involvement in sports and academic activities, and all sorts of fun things.
This was a stark contrast with my experience on Monday morning. I was pulling out the trash bins, since Monday is trash day. Our next door neighbor, who just moved into the house next door, asked if the trash truck had already driven by. I talked to her about how unpredictable trash pick ups are and how is just best to take them up early in the morning and have to be ready for whenever the city decides to pick up the trash. We introduced ourselves, and talked about how there are no other kids close by. She told me she had two kids and that her oldest is autistic. I could see in her face how she hesitated, and hated to say that her daughter was autistic. I asked how old her daughter was, and she replied her daughter was 6... But then, with a very apologetic face said her daughter had the mental capacity of a one year old. I immediately felt her pain. Obviously, she is having a hard time dealing with the challenge of a child who I am sure is absolutely special. I did not say anything about my own daughter. I thought that would be a good conversation over a playdate or over a plate of sugar free cookies. Right then and there, as I walked away to come back into the house, I realized how hard it is for parents to not be ashamed when their kids are different, but normal at the same time.
However, as I think about this, and having had more than 24 hours now to really think it through... I realize that it is the adults who completely miss the point. It is the adults, the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, the teachers, the caretakers, the preschool assistants, the principles, and tutors of the world, who completely miss the point. It's not the children! They don't know any different. The only thing they know is how to be a child. Unfortunately, this world is full of adults that are authority figures to children who work differently, and pass their own prejudices and their own preconceived notions about what a person should be. Thus, in time, also completely ruining the opportunity this child might have to thrive. Shame!
Well, today I have decided, that there is no shame in being who you were sent to this earth to be. There is no shame in having a body that works differently. There is an infinite amount of shame when you do not see that part of the beauty of this world. There is an indescribable lack of vision when you try to instill shame in a child when you should be instilling in them the strength and courage to overcome the shame and stupidity of other people.
I am so grateful for both conversations! What a relief it is to see that other parents also share the same feelings that this world is better when we accept the differences nature imposed. There's no shame in accepting the differences that come naturally. There is no shame in having a normal life when your body works differently. The important thing is teaching our children to be comfortable in their own skins. To never ever apologize for who they are and how they need their lives to be. We ourselves need to take a stand in helping people understand that we need not be apologetic about the lifestyle that this life has asked us to lead.
So once again, I think about the scared 8 year old that was diagnosed 8 years ago in California. I don't know her. I will never meet her. I will only get two know this child from a 30 minute conversation, through the eyes of her mother. However, I am proud of her! I am proud of her accomplishments! I am proud of the example she gives the other children who need support to accept that they are just fine! I am proud of the stand she takes on behalf of my own daughter! I am proud to say that one day, my daughter will stand on the shoulders of proud, courageous, brave, and absolutely outstanding teenagers like this 16 year old! I am so grateful that, at 16, she stands without shame, shouting to the world that she is perfect. Perfectly sweet! And perfectly happy to be 16 and diabetic.
For most parents, night time is the opportunity to recuperate from the day's work and the days stresses. Just yesterday I was talking to other parents about the lack of sleep that parents go through when you have little children. I remember back to the days when my little one was just a newborn. Those days were difficult, definitely an adjustment. However, with every day that passes, I believe that those days were easy compared to these days. I remember having to wake up 2 or 3 times to feed the baby and to make sure she is dry overnight. Now, I still feed the baby at night, its just that I feed her because of a hypoglycemic event. Thinking back to the days when I used to leave bottles of formula prepared in the fridge, so that I only had to warm them up, I realize that there was a way to prepare for that. Nowadays, nights can be quite unpredictable no matter what I do.
I hear fellow moms and dads talk about how tiring it is to care for toddlers and little children overnight. It seems like everyone has their own story! It seems like everyone has the same calculation. " I haven't slept since I got pregnant" or" I haven't slept since s/he was born." This is so frustrating for most parents. But I do assure you, that if you're lacking sleep right now just because of your children's age, start praising the Lord! Because they will eventually grow out of this.
Unfortunately, I cannot report the same for our specific situation. Why? Because diabetes doesn't sleep! Diabetes needs to be managed 24 hours a day 7 days a week, without hesitation. That means long nights pulling a graveyard shift after having to carry out strict and specific schedules during the day. Let alone, the fact that most children are active during the day. And then, there is a little detail that I have never developed the art of sleeping during the day. So right now, As I am dealing with a hypoglycemic event my daughter is having right now I am thinking that I would be so grateful to just be able to wake up to feed a bottle or check a crying baby. Or pull an all nighter studying for a test. But the stress of overnight diabetes management...that is in a league of its own. Only a parent with a diabetic kis knows the anxiety and stress of dealing with this. Because it IS a life or death situation, not a hunger or temporary issue. You won't be able to let it go and my child will most probably never outgrow this.
I contemplate what the next few hours will be like, I think about the reason why I am up. I think about the fact that if I sleep my daughter could slip into the permanent sleep we call death. So in my case, I'm not staying awake because my child is sick or because my child is crying because she wants a bottle of milk. I am staying alert so I can watch her sleep and keep her safe. When put into the right perspective, nothing is more important than making sure that she is safe. And the cost, its just sleep. One day, diabetes could sleep. But until then, I am happy to sacrifice my own sleep so that she can continue to live healthily. I wish this was came to our my minds everytime we complain because our children wake us up due to a sick day or because our children have nightmares.
Before our diagnosis, I was always awake because my daughter is a sleep talker and sleep walker. I never knew whether she was awake or sleeping. But now, I need to know that she is okay. Not because she might walk around the house and trip and fall, but because right now, today, we might have a silent traitor try to invade our life in her sleep. Now... back to the news, the glucometer and whatever I can find that might help me stay alert. Back to the graveyard shift!
I have diabetes... Diabetes by proxy. My A1c is 5.4, which is absolute perfection. So basically, I don't actually have a physical condition or challenge that requires that I have a different lifestyle. However, I do live with 2 diabetics who have type 1. A lot of people call this the family members or the caretakers or... you know, you have seen the stickers on Facebook that says "I love someone with diabetes". I am one of those people.
So I decided to call that diabetes by proxy. Definition: This state of living does not require insulin shots. It will not be ameliorated with an insulin pump; you do not need to go on a specific diet, unless you want to. You do not need to exercise in order for it to get better. You do not need to avoid carbohydrates in excess. You do not need to wear a medical ID to help medical professionals assist you in case of emergency. However, brace yourself for this diagnosis. This special condition renders you "judgeable" and "correctionable" ( two words I just made up.) When you have diabetes by proxy, get ready. Everyone will want to tell you about their grandmother who has diabetes. Everyone will want to tell you about their brother or sister or uncle or aunt who died from diabetes... Everyone will want to also tell you that you just have to feed your child more food. Others will tell you she just needs to have less medication in her body. The most horrible symptoms for diabetes by proxy is having to hear someone say: "She's so cute! How can she have diabetes?" The second worst symptoms suffered is having to hear someone ask: "Why?" Now, moving on to the very annoying but not as painful symptoms... Having to be accused of exaggerating things; Being classified as a helicopter mom because I am always watching my child. Being judged because " its not done that way" or "I am parent and I know how it's done" or "I am a real diabetic"...Oh, threre is absolutely no curw from it. It presents especifically chronic on those that are educated on diabetes and "speak" the language. Finally, at the time of diagnosis, you feel like you have been run over a semi truck!
I will decide to cut short my definition, since I do have limited time and space. The point is that diabetes is my life. I have diabetes in my breakfast, at lunch, at snack time, at dinner time, at bedtime, during the night, at sunrise... And every time in between. See, diabetes is everywhere for me and in everything. There is no such thing as a break. The consequences of not paying attention, are also extremely severe. Luckily, I have not had to deal with those consequences. I do not intend to do so. What I do intent to do is continue to manage my diabetes by proxy with organization, planning, education, data gathering, lots a fun, lots of love, learning, play dates, etc.
However different my diagnosis might be, I still have diabetes. It is still something different I need to deal with. ( Instructions: read with annoyed tone) When someone tells me I have no idea what diabetes is like, I really wonder if they know what they're saying. I don't take the shots. I give them. My body does not have deficiencies in my pancreas. But I sure as heck have diminished energy. I carry a glucometer everywhere. I have to make sure there is enough food to be eaten during regular meals, snack time, and during hypoglycemic events. I can't afford nap time, "me" time...basically no time. Improvising is a pain in the butt. When balance is thrown off, I am the one who has to fix it. In essence, diabetes rules most of what I do 24/7/365. So if you don't think I understand what diabetes is, that I don't know what it feels like to be diabetic, you have got to check up on your sources.
No matter what others think they know, its just that...what they think they know. And in reality, most people, diabetic or not have no clue what its like to have diabetes by proxy.
So...when the time comes, stay put, don't try to make things "better" because you might be making them worse, step aside and let me do my thing. There is no prize for the inadequate, only the price that I, the diabetic by proxy, pay. The more obstacles i have placed on my path, the higher the price I pay. Excuse yourself and wham! Keep walking.
