Today. ..

Today is the day. Today is the day I celebrate a second birthday for my daughter. On a day like today, in 2012, she was reborn as a diabetic toddler. It was a surprise! But it did not catch us unprepared and off guard.

It has been 368 since we heard the diagnosis. And exactly a year since we left the hospital. It was intense! It was difficult! It was scary! It was life changing! It was a challenge! It was nerve-wrecking! It was all the things that only a parent that has gone through this experience can understand. It was the inevitable induction into a small group, a small club of parents that learn to live with this challenge on a daily basis.

A yearul later I am so happy and so grateful to realize everything is ok. My daughter has accepted her new lifestyle and has done wonderfully. She deserves all the credit for adjusting to such a radical change in lifestyle at such an early age. Even before she is able to read a book on her own, she speaks diabetes. I am proud of her efforts and of her self discipline. I am proud of the temperament and character she has shown in dealing with this.

So... Thanks to research! Thanks to carb counting! Thanks to FDA workers watching out for quality assurance! Thanks for nutritional guides all over! Thanks to diabetic educators! Thanks to the modernization of Medicine! Thanks for super thin needles! Thanks for 5-seconds glucometers! Thanks for measuring cups, and kitchen appliances, measuring spoons,  and nutritional labels! Thanks for a college education that includes a good science foundation! Thanks for a diabetic husband who has allowed me to delve deep into the diabetes world! Thanks for a father that is a nurse! Thanks for a mother who has dedicated her life to helping people that live with challenges and taught me my daughter's rights even before I could have a child!  Thanks for a wonderful staff at our medical provider! Thanks for strangers who become instant family because they know, they understand the shoes you wear everyday! And finally, thank God! Because it is only with the help of the Almighty, and the guidance of the Angels He sends that makes it possible for diabetes to be in our lives, without breaking us.

Diabetes might: rule our life; Run our schedules. Change our plans; Distance relationships;  Distortion the appearance of how things are; Interfere with desires...but it's here to stay,  and so will I. There is no return policy. No cancellation option. Therefore, since diabetes won't budge...neither will I!

MY NAME IS MELISA M. VALENTIN. I AM THE WIFE AND MOTHER OF 2 PEOPLE LIVING WITH DIABETES.  I LOVE THEM. THEY ARE MY LIFE. AND I WILL NOT STAND DOWN, DOWN PLAY OR YIELD MY POSITIONS. I AM IN THIS GAME TO WIN. I AM HERE TO KICK DIABETES IN THE BUTT!!!! THAT IS MY MISSION STATEMENT, UNTIL I HAVE FINISHED THE WORK GOD HAS FOR ME ON THIS, HIS EARTH.

I am tired but determined.  This is my place, my responsibility,  my duty,  my privilege. Moving forward is the path I choose.

To Love a diabetic is...

This poem is not mine...it was shared on the Diabetes Awareness site..but I wanted to share the feeling of it. Every parent with a diabetic child can relate to this somehow. :)

Poem: To Love A Diabetic

By Katherine Marple

To love a diabetic is to be a doctor. It means helping her to remember her medications. It means driving her for an hour to the only 24 hour pharmacy when she’s gotten the flu and can’t take the Nyquil in the refrigerator. Or driving her to the hospital when the simple flu turns into bronchitis and her blood turns acidic.

To love a diabetic is to be patient. It means knowing that some days she won’t feel good for no visible reason. It means canceling long term plans when suddenly she doesn’t feel well enough to go on a trip. Or waiting to go to bed while she injects her bedtime insulin.

To love a diabetic is to be a priest. It means consoling her when she’s tired and feels like she can’t do it anymore. It means listening and not passing judgment while she tries to figure out her new dosages and makes mistakes. Or, during those tough times, listening to her burial wishes – just in case.

To love a diabetic is to be a guardian. It means standing up for her when strangers accuse her of being a drug addict. It means discreetly asking her friends to keep an eye on her when she’s testing new medications and doesn’t know the reactions to her body yet. Or staying up with her through the night because she’s too afraid to fall asleep where a coma can find her.

To love a diabetic is to not be superficial. It means seeing her bruises as beauty marks. It means caressing the scars across her stomach. Or kissing her dry lips when she is hooked to IVs.

To love a diabetic is to be understanding. It means knowing that she doesn’t mean to get hot tempered when her blood sugars are too high. It means listening to her when she asks to start a family soon. Or donating time and DNA to sciences you don’t fully understand just because she asks you to and because it promises to cure her.

To love a diabetic is to be smart. It means researching new medications even though she never asks you to. It means listening to her explain her new findings in terms that aren’t typical language. Or making her smile when she desperately wants to scream.

To love a diabetic is to be selfless. It means going to a restaurant based off the carbohydrates menu instead of the atmosphere. It means going without dinner when money is tight because you can buy her medication with it instead. Or testing your blood sugar on her new meter to make sure it’s working properly even though you’re terrified of needles.

To love a diabetic is to be brave. It means keeping your chin up while she talks about those scary moments. It means not allowing her medical mistakes to colour your relationship with her emotionally. Or keeping positive spirits even though all of the websites and gatherings tell you she won’t statistically make it past her 40s.

To love a diabetic is not easy. It means putting her medical needs before any other finances. It means worrying every moment that she is properly cared for even when you can’t see her. And it means trusting her life in the hands of so many doctors who don’t understand the full complexities of the disease.

Thank you for loving a diabetic.

http://diabetesawarenesssite.com/poem-to-love-a-diabetic/?utm_source=social&utm_medium=dbsaware&utm_campaign=poem-to-love-a-diabetic&utm_term=20131111

That was then at 8...now it's at 16 without shame!

This morning seemed like it was going to be another regular morning. Most people my call my life extremely simple and uncomplicated. And of course, if you were to ask me it is just a cumulus of convoluted, entangled, and completely inseparable issues and considerations that are unstoppable. But, despite the dichotomy and differences, its all good. I know how it really is. So, another regular morning, right? Nope! Not a chance.

Commonly, as it is normal for people who hardly ever sleep, early in the morning, as I get ready to take care of the day's errands and my planned fun times with my daughter, I have to have a diet coke. I'm not going to lie. When I don't have my diet coke it is hard to stay on the top of my game. So call me dependent or simply a busted, tired mom, either way... I have to have a Diet Coke in the morning. So, here I am driving to my local Burger King to get my morning Diet Coke, and my daughter decides she wants to have breakfast at Burger King... But she wants to go inside! This immediately sounded like a tricky morning already. I was tired as usual and thinking about the logistics of having a three and a half year old diabetic toddler have breakfast at a local fast food. I knew this was just not going to work. But, because she hardly ever makes these requests, I thought it would be a good opportunity to give her the chance to learn how to do breakfast outside the home in an orderly fashion. We walked in, ordered, and sat down to wait for order. I noticed the lady sitting across from us  eyeing my daughter. She kept smiling. I could tell she was enjoying just watching my daughter and her faces.

As soon as our food was ready, I pulled out our glucometer and proceeded to check my daughter's levels. I could see kind of in slow motion, how this lady's eyes open wide and how she almost choked on her breakfast! Immediately she struggled to quickly swallow and look over and ask: " is she diabetic?" I answered yes. Immediately she smiled and said: "My daughter is too." Instantly, as it has occurred before, there was an instant bond. I did not dwell too much on what the lady look like or her accent or anything particular about that. We were just two mothers of diabetics who happened to bump into each other. She asked me how old my daughter is and told me about how her daughter was diagnosed at the age of 8. She told me the story of how she was in California and got a call that her daughter was in the hospital. As she shared her story, I realized how so many other families go through truly traumatic experiences to then hear a quite daunting an overwhelming fact.

We sat there, and spoke for about half hour as if we have known each other for years. We talked about legal issues, agreements and disagreements with schools, different options for homeschooling, different issues related to mood swings and puberty and hypoglycemia and not being able to know what's going on and children whose parents make them think they should be ashamed  they are diabetic... We basically talked about everything and anything related to diabetes. It was just so fun! She told me about how her daughter is now 16 years old and very active. Her daughter is proud to be different and normal at the same time. She shared some of the experiences her daughter has had a teenager, encountering classmates who were also diabetic but are too ashamed to tell the school. She told me about her daughter finding teenagers passed out in the bathrooms and in the hallways... Simply put, she told me about the tragedies that come after refusing to accept that it's okay to be diabetic.

We commented on this for some time. We talked about the influence teachers have on the kids at this difficult age. We talked about the influence parents have and how making their kids feel they should hide their diabetes, maybe because they themselves are ashamed, its just a huge disservice to the kids. She commended me for testing in public and for teaching my child, starting at a young age, that she should never be ashamed of her diabetes. She talked about how her daughter has thrived and has lived fully after her diagnosis. She talked about her daughter's involvement in sports and academic activities, and all sorts of fun things.

This was a stark contrast with my experience on Monday morning. I was pulling out the trash bins, since Monday is trash day. Our next door neighbor, who just moved into the house  next door, asked if the trash truck had already driven by. I talked to her about how unpredictable trash pick ups are and how is just best to take them up early in the morning and have to be ready for whenever the city decides to pick up the trash. We introduced ourselves, and talked about how there are no other kids close by. She told me she had two kids and that her oldest is autistic. I could see in her face how she hesitated, and hated to say that her daughter was autistic. I asked how old her daughter was, and she replied her daughter was 6... But then, with a very apologetic face said her daughter had the mental capacity of a one year old. I immediately felt her pain. Obviously, she is having a hard time dealing with the challenge of a child who I am sure is  absolutely special. I did not say anything about my own daughter. I thought that would be a good conversation over a playdate or over a plate of sugar free cookies. Right then and there, as I walked away to come back into the house, I realized how hard it is for parents to not be ashamed when their kids are different, but normal at the same time.

However, as I think about this, and having had more than 24 hours now to really think it through... I realize that it is the adults who completely miss the point. It is the adults, the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, the teachers, the caretakers, the preschool assistants, the principles, and tutors of the world, who completely miss the point. It's not the children! They don't know any different. The only thing they know is how to be a child. Unfortunately, this world is full of adults that are authority figures to children who work differently, and  pass their own prejudices and their own preconceived notions about what a person should be. Thus, in time, also completely ruining the opportunity this child might have to thrive. Shame!

Well, today I have decided, that there is no shame in being who you were sent to this earth to be. There is no shame in having a body that works differently. There is an infinite amount of shame when you do not see that part of the beauty of this world. There is an indescribable lack of vision when you try to instill shame in a child when you should be instilling in them the strength and courage to overcome the shame and stupidity of other people.

I am so grateful for both conversations! What a relief it is to see that other parents also share the same feelings that this world is better when we accept the differences nature imposed. There's no shame in accepting the differences that come naturally. There is no shame in having a normal life when your body works differently. The important thing is teaching our children to be comfortable in their own skins. To never ever apologize for who they are and how they need their lives to be. We ourselves need to take a stand in helping people understand that we need not be apologetic about the lifestyle that this life has asked us to lead.

So once again, I think about the scared 8 year old that was diagnosed 8 years ago in California. I don't know her. I will never meet her. I will only get two know this child from a 30 minute conversation, through the eyes of her mother. However, I am proud of her! I am proud of her accomplishments! I am proud of the example she gives the other children who need support to accept that they are just fine! I am proud of the stand she takes on behalf of my own daughter! I am proud to say that one day, my daughter will stand on the shoulders of proud, courageous, brave, and absolutely outstanding teenagers like this 16 year old! I am so grateful that, at 16,  she stands without shame, shouting to the world that she is perfect. Perfectly sweet! And perfectly happy to be 16 and diabetic.

Diabetes doesn't sleep!

For most parents, night time is the opportunity to recuperate from the day's work and the days stresses. Just yesterday I was talking to other parents about the lack of sleep that parents go through when you have little children. I remember back to the days when my little one was just a newborn. Those days were difficult, definitely an adjustment. However, with every day that passes, I believe that those days were easy compared to these days. I remember having to wake up 2 or 3 times to feed the baby and to make sure she is dry overnight. Now, I still feed the baby at night, its just that I feed her because of a hypoglycemic event. Thinking back to the days when I used to leave bottles of formula prepared in the fridge, so that I only had to warm them up, I realize that there was a way to prepare for that. Nowadays, nights can be quite unpredictable no matter what I do.

I hear fellow moms and dads talk about how tiring it is to care for toddlers and little children overnight. It seems like everyone has their own story! It seems like everyone has the same calculation. " I haven't slept since I got pregnant" or" I haven't slept since s/he was born." This is so frustrating for most parents. But I do assure you, that if you're lacking sleep right now just because of your children's age, start praising the Lord! Because they will eventually grow out of this.

Unfortunately, I cannot report the same for our specific situation. Why? Because diabetes doesn't sleep! Diabetes needs to be managed 24 hours a day 7 days a week, without hesitation. That means long nights pulling a graveyard shift after having to carry out strict and specific schedules during the day. Let alone, the fact that most children are active during the day. And then, there is a little detail that I have never developed the art of sleeping during the day. So right now, As I am dealing with a hypoglycemic event my daughter is having right now I am thinking that I would be so grateful to just be able to wake up to feed a bottle or check a crying baby. Or pull an all nighter studying for a test. But the stress of overnight diabetes management...that is in a league of its own. Only a parent with a diabetic kis knows the anxiety and stress of dealing with this. Because it IS a life or death situation, not a hunger or temporary issue.  You won't be able to let it go and my child will most probably never outgrow this.

I contemplate what the next few hours will be like, I think about the reason why I am up. I think about the fact that if I sleep my daughter could slip into the permanent sleep we call death.  So in my case, I'm not staying awake because my child is sick or because my child is crying because she wants a bottle of milk. I am staying alert so I can watch her sleep and keep her safe. When put into the right perspective, nothing is more important than making sure that she is safe. And the cost, its just sleep. One day, diabetes could sleep. But until then, I am happy to sacrifice my own sleep so that she can continue to live healthily. I wish this was came to our  my minds everytime we complain because our children wake us up due to a sick day or because our children have  nightmares.

Before our diagnosis, I was always awake because my daughter is a sleep talker and sleep walker. I never knew whether she was awake or sleeping. But now, I need to know that she is okay. Not because she might walk around the house and trip and fall, but because right now, today, we might have a silent traitor try to invade our life in her sleep. Now... back to the news, the glucometer and whatever I can find that might help me stay alert. Back to the graveyard shift!

Diabetes by proxy: Wham! And keep walking.

I have diabetes... Diabetes by proxy. My A1c is 5.4, which is absolute perfection. So basically, I don't actually have a physical condition or challenge that requires that I have a different lifestyle. However, I do live with 2 diabetics who have type 1. A lot of people call this the family members or the caretakers or... you know, you have seen the stickers on Facebook that says "I love someone with diabetes". I am one of those people.

So I decided to call that diabetes by proxy. Definition: This state of living does not require insulin shots. It will not be ameliorated with an insulin pump; you do not need to go on a specific diet, unless you want to. You do not need to exercise in order for it to get better. You do not need to avoid carbohydrates in excess. You do not need to wear a medical ID to help medical professionals assist you in case of emergency. However, brace yourself for this diagnosis. This special condition renders you "judgeable" and "correctionable" ( two words I just made up.) When you have diabetes by proxy, get  ready. Everyone will want to tell you about their grandmother who has diabetes. Everyone will want to tell you about their brother or sister or uncle or aunt who died from diabetes... Everyone will want to also tell you that you just have to feed your child more food. Others will tell you she just needs to have less medication in her body. The most horrible symptoms for diabetes by proxy is having to hear someone say: "She's  so cute! How can she have diabetes?"  The second worst symptoms suffered is having to hear someone ask: "Why?" Now, moving on to the very annoying but not as painful symptoms... Having to be accused of exaggerating things; Being classified as a helicopter mom because I am always watching my child. Being judged because " its not done that way" or "I am parent and I know how it's done" or "I am a real diabetic"...Oh, threre is absolutely no curw from it. It presents especifically chronic on those that are educated on diabetes and "speak" the language. Finally,  at the time of diagnosis, you feel like you have been run over a semi truck!

I will decide to cut short my definition, since I do have limited time and space. The point is that diabetes is my life. I have diabetes in my breakfast, at lunch, at snack time, at dinner time, at bedtime, during the night, at sunrise... And every time in between. See, diabetes is everywhere for me and in everything. There is no such thing as a break. The consequences of not paying attention, are also extremely severe. Luckily, I have not had to deal with those consequences. I do not intend to do so. What I do intent to do is continue to manage my diabetes by proxy with organization, planning, education, data gathering, lots a fun, lots of love, learning, play dates, etc.

However different my diagnosis might be, I still have diabetes. It is still something different I need to deal with. ( Instructions: read with annoyed tone) When someone tells me I have no idea what diabetes is like, I really wonder if they know what they're saying. I don't take the shots. I give them. My body does not have deficiencies in my pancreas. But I sure as heck have diminished energy. I carry a glucometer everywhere. I have to make sure there is enough food to be eaten during regular meals, snack time, and during hypoglycemic events. I can't afford nap time, "me" time...basically no time. Improvising is a pain in the butt. When balance is thrown off, I am the one who has to fix it. In essence, diabetes rules most of what I do 24/7/365. So if you don't think I understand what diabetes is, that I don't know what it feels like to be diabetic, you have got to check up on your sources.

No matter what others think they know, its just that...what they think they know. And in reality, most people, diabetic or not have no clue what its like to have diabetes by proxy.

So...when the time comes, stay put, don't try to make things "better" because you might be making them worse, step aside and let me do my thing. There is no prize for the inadequate,  only the price that I, the diabetic by proxy, pay.  The more obstacles i have placed on my path, the higher the price I pay. Excuse yourself and wham! Keep walking.

I am a lab "rat! "

Every morning I wake up to a very disturbed kitchen. And it almost seems like my kitchen never stays clean. I have pots on the stove. I have plenty of bowls and children's-size cups in the sink. I have got  teammate-style Coleman coolers on the countertops. Needless to say, I never seem to have enough dish soap and dishwasher detergent. Unfortunately, I have to confess that I go through dish sponges and scrubbing mechanisms like crazy. For a few hours a day, my kitchen looks perfectly clean.

If I ever had to quantify how long a clean kitchen in my house last, I would have to say that out of 24 hours a day, my kitchen is pretty much clean only about an hour a day. I also have to confess, this is probably one of the most frustrating things about being at home for the most part. Whatever you clean up now, gets disturbed within just a few minutes later.

However, a dirty kitchen in my house, means I am hard at work. It does not mean I'm creating new recipes or trying to come up with something mysterious that the world will consider a delicacy. It means that I am hard at work trying to make sure that I make balanced meals for my family. Now, let me not fool you. I do consume fast food. And I am NOT proud to admit that. However, the more I learn about my family's needs, the more I realize that my kitchen is my lab. And I am meant to be a lab rat.

Back in the day, when I was 16, I stepped into a real biology and chemistry laboratory for the first time. It was such an exciting experience! I remember the rush in my blood when I saw all the tools I was going to get to play with. I was so excited. I never wanted to leave. That day, the first day I stepped into what would be my future, I pledged that I would never leave the lab. I remember going back home a few weeks later and talking to my mother about wanting to be a scientist. To dedicate my life to research. I remember all the passion I had for science and biology and discovering things. It was like a brand new world had just been unveiled before my eyes.

I remember how those ideas continued to evolve. I really wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be a pediatrician. No, I wanted to be a cardiologist. And throughout all this time, I just could not get enough of Science. Science was meant to be my life. That is what I was choosing, I just did not know it. And I knew even less about how truly my life would be complete engulfed and consumed by science processes and... A kitchen!

I have a small kitchen. It is nowhere near as big as some of the other kitchens I have seen. When we moved in 2012 I lost significant counter space. Let me just say, that I really really miss my counter space. It would just give me more space to pile on dirty dishes! :) I am completely joking. However, I am not joking about the fact that I do miss counter space. And why is that? That is because my kitchen, be my lab, is where I spend a lot of time trying to figure things out. I no longer wear a lab coat, but I can assure you that I wear an apron for a significant amount of time.

Having 2 Type 1 Diabetics at home, has meant that I spend long periods of time looking at labels. I also spend long periods of time looking for measuring cups. At this point, I have 5 sets of measuring cups for solids. I have got 1 digital scale, that I never lose. I also have various cups for measuring liquids. My cell phone, is an extension of my kitchen. I have multiple apps to help me convert from one unit to another. I have apps that help me to also verify the nutritional information for specific foods, that might be hard to get. I also have random numbers in my head... Like the fact that one ounce of bread has15 grams of carbs. I also remember that a ration of food that weighs 30 grams, also has 30 grams of carbs. Unfortunately, this is not applicable to all food! I remember that 1 medium sized french fry has 1 gram of carb. I know that 1 teaspoon of ketchup has 5 grams of carbs. I can go on forever! And I have no complaints about it. Like I did mention, I I wanted my life to be, at some point, monopolized by  Science. And it really is!

Mathematics! Mathematics and science! Mathematics do not trail far behind science. Tuesday night, I spent some time trying to come up with a formula for a protein smoothie that would help my daughter keep her blood sugars stable overnight. I remember just pulling out ingredients from the cupboards and of course my measuring cups. Afterwards, I realized I needed my scale ... Basically, all of my lab rat tools. And there goes the clean kitchen! But it was worth it! Math, science, and my kitchen helped me to come up with the perfect mix so that my daughter could have stable nights. I was so excited that she even drank it.

I am a lab rat! I love it! I get to play with toys all day long. I'm not going to lie to you, it is hard to be a lab rat. It is tons of work! But when I have my results, I am looking at my perfectly balanced food... With a balanced glycemic index, balanced carbohydrates, balanced proteins... And even though I cooked it at home, I know exactly how much is in 1/2 cup... I am proud. I am a proud lab rat. I am happy. I am a happy woman living with two very special people. I would not change anything about them. They are giving me my dream. They are giving me everything I always wanted.

So, many years later, after I decided to decline my plan to go to medical school, I am back to where I started. I am so glad I am back to square one! It has been 20 years now since I decided I would have a science-engulfed future. I remember the day in my general biology class where we discussed the Krebbs Cycle. I remember calling my dad and telling him how I was having a hard time memorizing the cycle. And I also remember his very prophetic and wise words telling me.. I must memorize this, because it is the basis of life. He instilled in me the idea that to understand the whole you really needed to understand the unit. This has stuck with me. I will be forever grateful for the fact that he was there to answer my questions. He still is!  And now, 20 years later, I can still remember exactly what the purpose of this important molecular cycle does...it Illustrates what my family needs.

So today, as I find myself back in my lab coat, in a sort of way, I am grateful for the opportunity to change my mind. I am grateful for the opportunity to have had parents that supported me in my goals. I am so grateful because they were not frustrated at the amount of money and time they had put into me getting ready to go to medical school. I am so grateful there was never a comment that was hurtful. We never looked behind. We always moves forward. And because of that, I got the greatest gift I would need 20 years later... Science in my life! My kitchen, my lab! And even though there are no rats, no specimens involved, there is one thing that might seem like a detail of life... but it is everything to me. And that one thing is my family's life.

This morning, again.. I woke up to a disturbed kitchen! And again, it was just a reminder that last night, we were at work trying to make things right . And as I finish this, and get ready to clean my kitchen again just to get it dirty again in a few minutes, I feel accomplished. I feel grateful. I even feel a sense of guidance from heaven above letting me know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am who I was meant to be.  I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I have no regrets. I have nothing but a feeling of being overjoyed by what I get to experience every single day of my life. Despite the difficult times that inevitably come, I am grounded. I am a established. I am inmovable in my purpose. I will continue to be a lab rat.... My kitchen will continue to be mostly full of dirty dishes waiting for a bath. That, my friends, is a promise!

This is too much (grind teeth)!

Yesterday, after we experienced our high because of our perfect 7 for baby's A1c, as I was walking out of the exam room, I heard a fellow T1D mom say: "There is just so much to remember!"

Her cry of frustration came after our doctor asked if her daughter had a medical Id bracelet. This seems like a very simple question. Immediately, as I was walking towards the nurses' station to wait for my written instructions and treatment plan, I thought... A medical ID? Who does not have one? How can a diabetic child walk around without a medical ID that states that the child has Type 1 Diabetes? And in one nanosecond , I judged my fellow T1D mom.  I immediately felt bad for her. I also felt bad for judging her at a moment when she was expressing frustration. I remained still and quiet by the nurses station. It was not my place to say anything.

This quick exchange took about 1 minute while our doctor signed the treatment plan to give me a copy to take home. And that brief moment, I realized that she is right. My fellow T1D mother was overwhelmed. I am sure her mental list of things to do, things to get, things that are absolutely imperative, things to pick up, things to... You catch my drift, right? How in the world can this be done? My doctor interrupted my thoughts, and asked: "Does she have a medical ID bracelet?" I rolled up my daughter's sleeve, to show that my daughter had a silver medical ID with the symbol of health warning, a jelly wristband that says  "I have type 1 diabetes", and finally one more jelly wristbands that has her name, her diagnosis, and my cell phone number. The doctor stared at me, and said: "You are too prepared."

I immediately said to her: "With these perfect children, you are never too prepared." She asked if my daughter was always with me and I answered that she was. She went on to say that it was important for us to remain prepared and organized as we have been until now, so that when school days roll around, there would be no shock from the change.

I walked away, still elates from our wonderful news. I got into my car, after jumping rain puddles with my daughter. It was a great moment. It was also a great opportunity to reflect upon the need for us to be prepared. I have heard many people say that preparation is not transferable. I strongly believe this is true. However, when dealing with situations that are so unpredictable, how can you prepare for the known and the unknown?

I have yet to find great answers that can be applied to everyone else. I can only answer these questions for myself and my daughter's needs. However, in a world where there is so much that needs to get done and so many things that need to be remembered, preparation and organization have never been more crucial for a stable life style.

Just right then and there I realized that in order to do anything in this life, we must be willing to learn. Willing to accept the inevitable changes that come to our lives. Willing to take the unexpected and run with it. But also willing to withdraw from the world when needed. We also have to be willing to enter into our own personal wildernesses all alone, armed only with faith and the knowledge we can do it. Throughout this time, I have been blessed with many offers of assistance. But but I have accepted that this is my wilderness to conquer.  My challenge to tackle.  And also my victory to experience.  I have been slowly prepared for this and I will not fear. I cannot fail. I too experience feelings of being overwhelmed...but nothing overcomes that faster than a smile from my little one. Yes! This is too much, but is it also worth everything!